Middle Earth Adventures

McCrain's in Middle Earth
A travel dialogue of our adventures in New Zealand

In February 2004, Jim and Kathy McCrain began a five month oddessy in New Zealand. Kathy was transferred to Auckland for a temporary work assignment, and Jim followed her for moral support. (Isn't he just the greatest husband?) What follows is Jim's account of this adventure.

Day One: Getting There

March 10, 2004.
Somewhere over the American southwest, cruising at 35,000 feet.

Well at last, my New Zealand adventure has begun. Kathy, of course, has already been in NZ for two weeks. She is an “old hand” at living in a foreign country by this time. I will have a lot of living to do to make up for my “lost time.”

Just getting to New Zealand has been an adventure so far. You know the old saying “It ain’t over till the fat lady sings?” Well, let’s hope she doesn’t start up just yet. However, I DID have a run-in with her cousin, Mr. Murphy. You know the guy. He wrote a series of laws that pertain to all travelers.

Mr Murphy decided to give me a run for my money, or to at least test my sense of humor today, before I even left Dallas! No, it wasn’t anything bad, but it was “par for the course” as far as my adventures go.

I had my friend Keith Reynolds drive me to the airport, and I asked him to stay until all of my bags had cleared the security area, “just in case.” You see, I am traveling with two full duffel bags, one full of clothing and the other full of camping and hiking gear. In addition, I have a small “carry on” size bag that is full of electronic equipment. (Video camera, video gear, tapes, GPS unit, etc.) I also have a laptop case with a lot of computer gear in it. It is all of the carry-on bags that I thought I was going to have trouble getting through security. But NO! I have to have other worries!

The TSA representative takes my two duffel bags (traveling as checked baggage) and puts them into the large X-ray machine. The first one in is the bag full of clothing. The green light starts to flash. I am hoping this is a good sign. 30 seconds pass, which is more time than most bags generally take. The green light keeps flashing. Another 30 seconds passes, and then yet another. After several minutes, the green light STOPS flashing. I am beginning to think there may be a problem. Keith is beginning to think so, too. What are they going to do when the “problem bag” full of camping gear gets into the machine?

Finally, an agent reaches into the back of the X-ray machine and pulls a large suitcase out. I am thinking, “Hey, maybe there was a problem with THAT bag.” It is promptly put on a conveyor belt and shuttled away. My bag is still in the machine.

Suddenly, a very official looking TSA Agent walks over to where I am standing and asks if I am waiting for a particular bag. I honestly answer him “Yes, Sir! Is there a problem?” He glances around the area, and then takes a quick glance at me. (Obviously checking out my character! I may be a seedy non-conformist with a “profile”.) When he notices that no one is looking, he grins and says, “The machine broke. We have to check everything by hand now.” Fortunately (?) for me, it wasn’t MY bag that broke the machine!

So, he takes my bag full of camping gear and supplies and puts it on a little table. A different Agent then proceeds to un-latch the buckles and straps that are holding this rather tightly packed bundle together. It fairly “springs” open! The poor Agent looks at this incredibly taught pile of un-identifiable “Stuff” and mouths the words “Oh Shit!” I realize as he grins a little that this isn’t a BAD “Oh Shit!” but more one of “How am I going to check all of this?” He very quickly runs one of the little drug and explosive detecting clothes along the side of the bag, puts it into the analyzer machine and immediately starts to re-zip, re-buckle, re-snap, re-tighten, and re-zip-tie the pack. He didn’t even wait for the results of the detection machine! Obviously, this man understands just how strange and difficult it is to be carrying and packing camping gear.

“Sploop!” The bag hits the conveyor belt and is on its way to the airplane. I’ll see it again tomorrow in Auckland. I then take myself over to the HUMAN screening point and proceed to take the laptop out of its case, take my shoes off, take my keys out of my pocket, and off I go through the metal detector. I am actually IN the detector when the Agent calls to me and says, “Just what is IN this bag?” I answer that there is a lot of video equipment and cameras in there. “Is that actually a video camera? It looks pretty big!” I quickly say, “Yes, it is a professional camera.” He then motions to a couple of other operators and they whisk my bag over to another “small table.” I am asked to open the bag. I had anticipated this, though, and I am not surprised. Out comes the camera, I turn it on, and prove that it is really a video camera, and not some sophisticated spying device. I ask if there is a problem, and he said “Oh, no. I just haven’t seen one of these in person and wanted to take a look at it!”

A few minutes later, I realize that my shoes are missing. During all of the “commotion,” my shoes have been taken out of the plastic tub and have been set on the floor at the end of the conveyor belt, out of site. It takes a few minutes for us to find them, but I eventually get to them.

Then it is off to the currency exchange office. I am told that they don’t have enough New Zealand dollars, so they can only exchange a LITTLE of what I needed. It will be too late to change any more in LA, so I will just have to make do with what I have.

Oh yeah, I just realized that I didn’t see my OTHER bag ever make it out of the X-ray machine. I may have to wear the same clothes for the next few days, until they get that machine fixed!

In a few minutes, I will be landing in LA, and will be meeting Kathy Wingert. Dinner will go quickly, and then it will be back on a plane for another 13 hours. I wonder what THAT part of the trip will be like?

10:19 pm, The next day, but only a few hours later! (In other words, I have changed my watch to reflect the upcoming time-change.)

After a very nice dinner with Kathy at Marina-del-Rey, I made my way up to the Japan Airlines VIP lounge. It seams that Quantas doesn’t have their own lounge, so they use JAL’s lounge. This is something that I am not used to, but I will try to make the best of it. Of course, while enjoying this lounge, with the free food and drink, I somehow missed the call for my flight. The Lounge attendant said that they would call the flight number, and then we would all go board a bus that would take us to the plane. Well, I didn’t hear them call my flight number or mention Auckland. All I heard was a flight to Melbourne, Australia. Finally, when only three people where left in the lounge, I asked them if they knew which flights had been called. (The lounge attendant had disappeared.) Yep! They had announced MY flight, and the last bus was about to leave. I made it with about one minute to spare, and then the bus took off. Soon I saw “my” plane, and boarded it.

I am sitting on the second floor of a Boeing 747! You know, I was actually expecting something a little nicer. Now don’t get me wrong, this is a nice plane. But I somehow was expecting it to look different. It is the standard “Boeing Beige” interior with blue seats. Sure they are big and comfortable, but in my minds eye this whole thing was supposed to be paisley or turquoise colored. I have NO idea why I had this in mind, but I did! I am not disappointed, just disillusioned.

What I AM disappointed with is that the Cabin Steward came around and made everyone put their window shades down. He said that the sun was going to come up and bother everyone. When the sun DOES start to come up, I am sorry, but so will my window shade! Other than that, I am enjoying my flight. The movies are not very good, so I will watch one of my own. Then, it is off to sleep for a little while, and then to wake up sometime in a foreign land.

Good night for now!

The Adventure Begins!